Thanksgiving One-Liners:

- You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

- Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way: spend money you don't have on Chinese products.

- An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

- Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

- Thanksgiving - when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.

Marriage in heaven?

On their way to get married, a young couple were involved in a fatal car accident. They found themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
When he showed up, they asked could they get married in Heaven?.
St Peter said "I don't know, let me find out".
After three long months, he returned, "Yes" he said " I can get you married.
"Great!" said the couple "But what if things don't work out? Can we get a divorce?"
St. Peter said "Listen carefully, It took me three months to find a priest..... have you any idea how long it'll take to find a Lawyer!?