Random jokes

The inventor of throat lozenges has died. He has requested no coffin at his funeral.

“What’s brown and sticky?”
“A stick.”

Wanna hear the story about the time I bought shoes from a drug dealer?
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

What goes clip clop, clip clop, bangbangbangbangbang, clipclopclipclopclipclop?
An Amish drive by shooting.

A widow is seated at her late husband’s funeral. A man approaches and asks her, “may I say a word?”
“Certainly,” she replies.
He clears his throat and says, “Plethora.”
She nods and says, “Thank you. That means a lot.”

I know a guy that lost his whole left side in an accident.
He's alright now.

What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.