I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that," etc. It eventually became very annoying.
Being from Niagra Falls, I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "MIGHTY NIAGARA", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water & Power".
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him: "Do you have anything like this in Texas?" He waited a moment before he answered: "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."
Question: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
This blonde is on main street and she sees this t.v. in the window. So she walks in and says to the man at the counter, "I would like to buy the t.v. in the window, please." "Sorry, we don't sale to blondes," replied the dude at the counter. The blonde left, a little sad and puzzled.
She goes home and dyes her hair brown. She went back to the store and says to the same man at the counter: "I would like to buy the t.v. in the window, please." "Sorry, still don't sale to blondes." The blonde was getting mad now. 'I'll fix him' she thought to herself.
So she goes home and dyes her hair black this time. "Alright, I'd like to buy the t.v. in the window, please." "Look, lady, we don't sale to blondes." The blonde stood there for a minute. "How do you keep knowing it was me?" "I know it's you because that in the window is a microwave."
There was a blonde, burnette and green haired lady. They were all talking about each others hair. The blonde said: "Oh, I poured bleach on mine." The burnette said: "Oh, I dyed mine." The green haired lady sneezed in to her hair and said: "It's natural."
