Q. How do you make a Essex girl's eyes sparkle?
A. Shine a torch into her ear.
Q. Did you hear about the big power cut at the Bluewater centre?
A. Forty Essex girls were stuck on the escalator for three hours
Q. What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and a Essex girl?
A. A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q. How many Essex girls does it take to make a chocolate chip cookie?
A. Five. One to stir the mixture and four to peel the smarties.
Q. Why are Essex girls only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.
Q. Why was the Essex girl so pleased to complete a jigsaw puzzle in 18 months?
A. Because the box said "From 2 to 5 years"
Q. What does a Essex girl say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
A. Is it mine?
Q. How do you make a Essex girl laugh on a Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on a Wednesday
Q. What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent Essex girl?
A. There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
