'A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?.. He looked at her from head to toe and replied: your sense of humour.

A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. ...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow?

Dear "Popular kids" you may drink, smoke weed, take drugs, slack off in school, and think your "hard". but in 5 years time, while i have a job and you dont, i'm going to laugh right in your face

'Hahahahaha, You Failed!" "
'Yeah, so did your dads condom."