Mainly puns

Just seen a genie crying and shaking on the kerb I asked him why he was so nervous he said he'd lost his bottle

Q Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey Tea?
A. Because proper tea is theft.

I've just had to get rid of my eastern European cleaner apparently she was a Slovak

Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Aye Matey.

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.