Three more

Sad to announce that the man who invented predictive text has died - his funfair is next Monkey.

I was wondering how terrorist organisations recruited before they could use the Internet. Do you suppose they advertised in exchange and martyrdom?

"How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock?" asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
"It's okay," he replies, "but the woman nex

ll.door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall" 

"Never you mind," says his mother, "don't you let them get to you, just ignore them." 

"Aye, that I do," he says, "I just keep playing my bagpipes."