7 to start the day

Vladimir Putin is changing his name to Ebenezer Scrooge... 
Because if he gets his way, there will be no Turkey this christmas....

A friend of mine is a farmer. One of his scarecrows recently won an award. Judges said he was outstanding in his field. A recent survey showed that 6 out of 7 dwarves weren't happy. I bought a coat made entirely of mirrors I thought I can see myself in that My friend Sid has started calling himself S. He's had to, someone stole his ID. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? I saw 5 blokes beating my mother in law up. The wife said "Are you going to help?" I said "No. 5 should be enough"